last year i met this guy..lets call him Stone or something.
I was running down the stairs in a hurry, because i wanted to make the tram and almost bumped into someone who was also in a hurry but he was going up the stairs. Stone. We both quickly said “sorry” and very, very briefly glanced at each other. i continued down the stairs and his companion (Brook) was also rushing up the stairs. I knew they came together because they both had these preppy outfits on, same age and everything. After that brief encounter, i could not stop thinking about both of them. But especially Stone. And a week later i met both of them again, this time outside of the same building where i almost clashed with Stone. I saw them from afar at first but i had a feeling it was them. They got closer and closer and the next thing i know they are approaching me. Brook seemed more out there. he did most of the talking and kept that..big..bright smile on his face, while Stone was more quiet, letting Brook handle it. It turned out that they were both from this organization and they basically wanted to scout me. the organization was safe by the way. So we made some small talk which made me more comfortable around them. Stone mentioned he's from this city that i personally have been dreaming of visiting and living in. And his name was similiar to mine as well. That all cought my attention. So we exchanged numbers and everything and started having these regular meet ups and also gatherings with other members of the organization. And let's just say..the more time and the more i knew about him, the more i fell. I know, i know. Sounds cliché or whatever but it's true. Our values and personalities aligned, hobbies and habits too and our views on certain things as well. It made me think we were brought together by fate. It was also strange because everytime i wanted to have a conversation with him or something in gatherings, people either wanted my attention or his, so we never had the chance to have a full on conversation because we were always distracted with other people. example : he introduced me to this girl and me and the girl chatted briefly, but i turned my attention back to him, because there was something i wanted to ask and in THAT specific moment, somebody called him over. Bummer, i know. One night on thanksgiving..that's when i realized just how much i started liking him. so besically this organization had a thanksgiving get together and i got invited. I came and talked to people, but all i wanted was to just see him and talk to him and sit next to him. The exact opposite happened. Not even a “hi”. Yup. not even that. like i explained earlier, people constantly around us, wanting to talk, and that is exactly what happened there. Both distracted, AGAIN. And as far as i know, he didn't even look my way once. At some point i was eating ice cream and he came to me and was like “what is that?” i said it's ice cream and he hummed and walked away. That was extremely odd of him? I thought maybe he DID wanna talk, but didn't know how. Besides that moment he payed no attention to me. That night i decided to leave early and on my way back home i cried. Yeah. I cried. As a very sensitive and overthinking person, there were millions of thoughts going through my head and i just started crying. Why didn't he talk to me, but talked to everyone else? Why did everyone else compliment my sweater but he didn't? So many thoughts that i started crying. I'm like that. I analyze everything and everyone. It's a blessing a curse. Anyway...now here is the part where it all ended. 6th of January, 2025. I was walking to school when Stone and this other guy (Rob) from the organization came up to me. We met on the strret my complete coincidence. We talked for a bit and then..the worse news came my way. Rob aksed Stone “you did/t tell her, did you?” and Stone shook his head. That is when i knew what it was about. What the two bug suitcases Stone hadwith him meant. he told me he's leaving. A huge part of me hoped he would say he's just switching apartments. But no. He was switching countries. Now imagine if i haven't met him that day. For months i would have no idea that he was gone. That he left. I knew it was fate. From the day on the staircase till that moment. That was the last day i saw him. When he left, that same month i was going througha very emotionally difficult time, so i called him. he picked up and we talked. I told him i'm leaving the organization. I knew i'd never wanna be apart of the otganization if he was gone but my excuse was that i was too busy. Which was also true. But just from that one phone call, a part of me felt so much better. Just hearing his voice..his comforting words. It healed a part of me. but at the time i didn't know that, that would amke me crazy. from then on i could not stop thinking about him. Each month we texted very briefly (always innitiated by me). And then one day..he just..stopped replying. Havent heard from or of him since. I held a grudge then got over it. But every once in a while i think abiut him and i feel tears swelling up. But i hold it down. I will always hold it down.
Now i'm gonna pour myself some water with ice. my favorite combo. Have a good day, night, afternoon, noon, morning. If you're pulling an all nighter and don't have ramen or cookies with you, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Go grab a late night snack RIGHT NOW!
Till next time. :)